Episode 189: Stop Telling Women to Find an Equal Partner
/“I had moved and made multiple accommodations for my husband’s job. And this was finally the big moment where I needed his accommodations. And...that was the moment that my marriage fell apart.”
Bobbi Thomason
Bobbi Thomason studies gender for a living. She was aware of the pitfalls couples can fall into, even those who assumed their relationship would be absolutely equal. Still, when her own marriage foundered over career equality (or the lack of it), she was gutted. At the same time she was reading social media comments urging women to demand a ‘50/50 partner.’ ‘I tried that,’ she thought, ‘and it didn’t work.’
In this episode we hear Bobbi’s story. She says sticking to her belief that she deserved a partner as willing to sacrifice for her as she was for him, has cost her a great deal. But she’s learned through academic research and personal experience that support comes in many forms, and that all women need a ‘village’ to get ahead.
You can also read a transcript of the show.
Further reading: Stop Telling Women They Just Need an Equal Partnership at Home by Bobbi Thomason.
If You Can’t Find a Spouse Who Supports Your Career, Stay Single by Avivah Wittenberg-Cox.
Here’s Bobbi’s doctoral dissertation on women’s rise to executive leadership in the Middle East and Africa.